YOU'LL ALWAYS BE THE "ONE" IN MY EYES :)

December 16, 2008 Tuesday

..He looked me in the eye while saying words like "i will always care for you.." (i don't know the exact words he was saying) He was telling a story that time. It was a requirement for our english subject. i felt joy inside of me.. but after looking at me.. he suddenly looked on the other side where SHE sits.. i don't know if their eyes met.. but this was the "OUCH" part.. he looked on that side while saying words like "i love you and I will marry you." (not sure if this is exact..) I was happy.. though, mostly SAD.

..There were more of my happy moments with him. But, everytime there comes a time like that, i kept reminding myself that he's just a friend. He's doing those things because he's my friend. yes. FRIEND.. no more than that. But.. inside of me, my heart whispers "do you really think i will believe you're okay to be just friends with him? you love him and i can feel that"
I wanted to be happy.. but.. again and again.. he makes me hope for nothing.. yet, i couldn't help myself not to fall.. he's everything i've ever wanted..

..I know he's just playing games with me. But i can't understand why i tolerate his wrong doings. I know i'll be hurt in the end, but i don't know why it's fine with me.. My mind tells me to give my love and attention to somebody else, but my heart won't allow me to.. I don't know why..

..Until when will i suffer? what do i need to do?
.I love him.. And i think, that would never change.. unless he told me to do so.. :(